Susan Scott, author of the acclaimed book Fierce Conversations, has these recommendations to help us connect through conversation:
- Come into the conversation with empty hands. Bring nothing but yourself.
- Set aside your own agenda and ask, “What is the most important thing we should be talking about today?”
- When you ask, really ask. One of the greatest gifts you can give another is the purity of your attention.
- Silence your cell phone. You cannot be here, prepared to be nowhere else, when you are interrupted by beeps, buzzes, and bells.
- Speak with and listen to others as your equals, because they are.
- If you’re unclear about what someone means, ask them to say more.
- Resolve to get it right (whatever it is), rather than to be right.
- Look inside yourself — with some people you may have to dig deep — to find at least a modicum of genuine affection for the person(s) with whom you are talking.
- Get past “How are you?” “I’m fine, how are you?”
- Be kind. Everyone is carrying a heavy load.
